


Lucky Strike

by GrellesTARDIS



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Genre: Dirty Jokes, F/M, Fluff and Crack, I wrote this originally for my friends and I, More Chapters to Come, Sorry Not Sorry, Swearing, Teens just being teens, all "original characters" are my friends & brother, kinda M for a later chapter or 2, multiple references to other fandoms, my friends are instigators, they convinced me to post this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-03-02 04:17:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2799251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrellesTARDIS/pseuds/GrellesTARDIS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pretty much what would happen if a smartass 18 year old from America traveled with the Doctor and Jack. And as per freaking usual, a calming visit to some family leads to more saving the Earth. Life may not be easy, but it sure as hell beats being normal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. This is what I put up with

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, this is my first fanfic I'm ever posting, so please go a bit easy. My friends convinced me it was good enough to be put on here because, lets face it, we've all read shittier than this. Plus I swear my writing gets better once you hit chapter 4 on. And yes, I realize people hate writer-insert fics, but I write better in first person. Plus I wrote this for me and my friends. Not exactly beta'd so all mistakes are mine and mine alone. If you notice any spelling or other mishaps than let me know, and constructive criticism is always welcome. Thanks for reading!!!

When traveling with the Doctor, you learn to accept certain things. Some people are purple, the air on this certain planet makes you horny, the TARDIS makes a psychic link so as to wake you whenever you're needed. Though it can be at inconvenient hours. 

As I was gently roused from my sleep, the clock next my bed read 4:36 AM. Which left me with only 2 hours of sleep. *Next time Jack wants to take us to a strictly-nocturnal party planet, I'll volunteer to keep the engine running.* 

I thank God for all the fun and adventures I've had traveling the Doctor, especially with Jack, but JESUS if they can't realize that I need and treasure my sleep, someone's gonna end up with shaving cream in their bed. When I finally shuffled into the console room, squinting against the harsh lighting through my glasses, I was met almost immediately with the Doctor swinging down from the catwalk, glasses and hair following first momentum then gravity as he settled upside-down in front of me. 

"Good, you're up. I've been trying to set the coordinates for this absolutely AMAZING planet that is made entirely of crystals, but some of the circuits have been malfunctioning. Everything got fried, even the back-up panel, so we can't vary that much from you're current timeline for some reason. I was wanting to know where you'd like to head off to while Jack and I try to hot-wire-" 

"Doctor," I cut in gently. He looked slightly shocked at both my interrupting him, and that his verbal tirade had been stopped short. "You know I love you. You know I love Jack. But; if you insist on getting a wise and thoughtful answer from me, than you need to let me go back to bed. So, please either cut me a little slack, or just park the damn thing and fix it while I sleep. I can pick somewhere to go when we get her fixed." 

All he could do was blink. *Holy shit, I finally managed to shut him up. I'm a god.* After a moment of staring at me, he reached up and re-adjusted his glasses. 

"Um; sure, sure. Yeah, uh. I can...yeah, I'll let you sleep. Figure something out with Jack and we'll wake you when we're on our way." He reached behind him; grabbing a support beam to hoist himself back up. Just as I was turning to leave, he looked back down at me. 

"Hang on. Didn't you mention an older brother a few times?"


	2. Arriving in Indiana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting up with my brother and discovering a big problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an FYI, the only fictional people in this are obviously the ones from Doctor Who & Torchwood. While entire situations with non-fictional people may not be true, the people are really really very real.

Once the circuitry was back in shape a few hours later, I was almost buzzing with excitement while I got ready. I'd visited all the rest of my family; both in Wisconsin and Indiana, yet I hadn't seen my oldest sibling since before I'd started being the Doctor's companion. Now I'd be able to not only introduce him and Jack to Koltyn, but als get a chance to terrorize all three of them together. 

I threw on a blue plaid shirt over my color-swirled Einstein just as Jack poked his head around the door to my room. "You ready, kid?" 

I smiled as I sauntered past him. "Jackie-boy, I was BORN ready." 

Upon arriving in the console room, I was nearly knocked over by a literally bouncing Doctor as he locked the correct coordinates into the computer. The sleeve of his blue suit slightly caught on a lever before he turned, barely looking at us as he spoke. 

"Right. We'll be setting down right in the back of the shop, give or take a few feet. Figured that'd be the least likely place for us to be noticed. And with that, lady and gentleman, we. Are here." The noise and accompanying vibrations hadn't even receded before I took off towards the exit. Before reaching halfway though, I felt a hand grab my collar and yank. 

Jack yanked me back against his body, wrapping his arms around my torso in the process. "Kid, you gotta learn. Don't rush into things. And if you decide to disregard my advice, as per usual, you're gonna need a weapon of some kind." 

Somehow without me noticing, he’d reached into his pocket and had pulled a small pill-shaped object from his pocket, pressing it into my hand. He then covered my hand with his and squeezed. Almost immediately, different sections started to flip and turn until it resembled something straight out of a b-grade sci-fi movie. While I inspected it as well as I could, Jack leaned so his head could rest against my shoulder. 

"Brand new Torchwood tech. Ianto came up with the idea a few weeks ago. Pure energy blasts that can be set from stun all the way up to incineration. Undetectable even to electronics." He shifted so his lips brushed against my ear. "Anyone stupid enough to mess with you won't know what hit 'em." I chuckled as I pulled away from him. "If you're planning on flirting with me OR my brother, best not to mention the cousin you happen to be dating." Not even realizing that'd he'd approached us, putting on his coat in the process, the Doctor pushed past us on the small ramp. 

"Can't leave you two alone for even 5 minutes. You're either planning world domination or practically shagging in front of me." 

Jack smirked. "Doc, you know that's not rue, otherwise we'd' have done it by now." The Doctor just shook his head as he opened the doors, blinding us with the mid-day, summer in Indiana sunlight. Being the first to recover, I stepped outside the TARDIS, slipping my new gun into my jeans pocket in the process, to see where we'd landed. True to his word, we were at the very edge of the back parking lot behind Koltyn's enormous auto shop. 

The wild green forest spanning from behind us to the left side of the black pavement was a stark contrast to the busy highway not 30 yards to the right. Followed closely by Jack and the Doctor, we picked our way through the lot full of cars towards the front of the deep blue building. Upon reaching the front, my suspicions were confirmed that Koltyn was half-color-blind. The orange Chinese-style dragon spanning the front had "K & G - AUTO & BODY" written in neon-green along its back. 

"Um," Jack's voice was slightly hesitant. "Who the hell would let them use those colors?" After a quick shrug, I pushed open the glass doors so I could behold my brother's dream come true. 

Which was a little disappointing at the start. 

The main entry was a standard waiting room, with a long counter along the back wall and two doors on either side. What was unusual, though, was that instead of a wall along the back, they'd installed large windows so you could look into the garage. Along the walls were pictures of cars they'd done in the past. On the edge of the counter stood a small silver bell with a sign that read "RING FOR SERVICE", and being the good little sister that I am, I got an idea. 

I glanced back at Jack as I pushed my sleeve up passed my elbow. "Jack, if you comment on what I'm about to do, there will be hell to pay. " 

The Doctor looked confused. "Wait. What're you-" I interrupted to start beating on the bell like a mad-woman. Not 5 seconds later, none other than my brother ran out from the second door to the left. 

Exuding a confidence, swagger, and personality to rival Dean Winchester, he was a punk with a heart of gold. With the same dad but different moms, we both looked exactly alike and completely different. Needless to say, it was a fun party trick that my three brothers and I delighted in showing our friends. Only about an inch-and-a-half shorter than me despite the 2 year advantage, glasses the same style as mine, and the same dark brown hair with matching eyes we'd inherited from our dad, we could almost pass as twins. The only real difference was while I'd dyed my whole head a deep red, he has a bleach-blond streak near his left temple, which actually manages to look good with his short, military-style haircut. 

Leaning around the Doctor, I took a moment to glance over him. In a black long-sleeved and orange tee combo, stressed black jeans, and camouflage Chucks outfit I bought him for his birthday a few months back, I got the feeling he'd been expecting us, even though I'd never given a set date for our visit. 

As I pulled my sleeve down to its original position, "I knew it was you, ya little shit," he said putting his arms out for me with a smile on his face. I ducked around the Doctor, who looked a bit startled, and launched myself into the embrace, nearly knocking us over in the process. Righting ourselves, I pecked him on the cheek while still keeping an arm around his waist. 

"Yes, but I'm your little shit. Have been for 18 years. Now, I assume you want introductions." I turned slightly and gestured towards the Doctor and Jack. "The one with the fuzz-head and the suit is the Doctor." The two smiled as they shook hands. 

"Dare I ask," my brother raised an eyebrow. "Doctor who?" 

The other chuckled as he put his hands in his pants pockets. "No. Just the Doctor. But I sometimes go by John Smith, for obvious reasons." Koltyn nodded in understanding as I continued. 

"And the one with the gun and suspenders is-" 

"Captain Jack Harkness. Nice to meet you. And Jo, I didn’t know you could move your hand like that." Jack cut in with a wink for the two of us. I flipped Jack the bird while the Doctor scoffed, walking to a nearby wall to inspect photos of various cars. 

"Can you stop flirting for just five minutes?" 

Jack put his hand to his chest in mock hurt. "How can you think so low of me that you assume I flirt with everyone I meet?" 

"Because you do," was the mumbled response. I sniggered. 

"Please, like you wouldn't absolutely LOVE to have a family box set." 

Koltyn looked between the three of us in confusion. "Box set?" I cringed internally as I explained. 

"Yeeeaah, Jack is Yan's boyfriend." 

I could almost see his brain short-circuiting. "Hold on. THIS is the guy Yan can't shut the hell up about? Who I've heard more dirty stories about that even I care for?" I flashed him a 'what-can-you-do' look. 

"Apparently. I actually found out the hard way. When we went to pick this bozo up, I followed Ianto's voice and found them making out like a bunch of horny teenagers." Jack at least had the sense to look slightly embarrassed. The Doctor decided to join the conversation by walking over to lean against the counter, which gave me a GREAT view of his ass, by the way. 

"Remind me again how you're related to him?" I craned my neck a bit so I could actually see his face around my brother, who was still plastered to my side. 

"He's our second cousin, once removed apparently. His parents had him late in life." Koltyn then cut in before the obvious could be asked. 

"And we call him Yan because we couldn't say his name when we were little. It's a nickname we all came up with, and it stuck. He gets pissed when anyone else calls him that. Everyone always says he only lets us do it because were his favorite cousins." Before anyone could continue, Koltyn's business partner Greg walked through the doors. 

Almost 6'5" with blond curls and the body of a supermodel, he looked like the kind of guy that would beat the snot out of you for pissing him off. But he was a major sweetie, and we were actually pretty close friends before I moved to Wisconsin. When he locked his gaze on me, though, his eyes had a strange, glazed-over quality to them. And when he spoke, his voice sounded as though someone else was using his voice to speak. 

"Emma, sweetie, what are you doing here?" As he started towards me, three things happened at once. 

Jack popped open the strap for his thigh holster, the Doctor flicked on his sonic screwdriver, and Koltyn shoved me behind him. When I disappeared from his sight, I saw Greg blink a few times before looking back at my brother. 

"Hey, Kolt." He turned and walked to the door next to Koltyn's, shaking his head slightly as he unlocked the door and stepped inside. Almost as soon as he closed the door, the Doctor turned on Koltyn. 

"What the bloody hell was that?" It barely seemed to register, as he kept staring at Greg's office door. Jack stepped into his line of sight. 

"You tell us what's going on here or so help me GOD I will not feel sorry for making your life hell." *Damn, he even used his sexy-as-hell 'business-voice'. It really had hit the fan.* Koltyn shifted a bit where he was standing before gesturing toward his office. 

"Go have a seat. This'll take a while." As the two immortals followed his instructions, Koltyn stared after Jack. "Damn, if that's how he sounds during sex, I don't blame Yan for always going on and on about it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually have some cousins who live in Wales that I talk to all the time so it wasn't all that hard for me to write Ianto as one of them. Cuz who doesn't love some Ianto.


	3. What the hell is going on here?

“It’s been going on for about three months now,” Koltyn informed us as he sat down behind his large wooden desk. 

His office was roughly one to two-thirds the size of the main room and sparsely furnished, with only the desk and two chairs besides his own. A large window behind him let in enough light to illuminate all the memorabilia for his favorite football team, the Pittsburgh Steelers, which adorned the walls. The only other decoration was pictures of him with friends and family. Once everyone was settled, the guys in the chairs while I settled on a corner of the desk, Koltyn continued explaining the situation. 

“Exactly as it just happened. One or two people coming in every couple of days and seeing someone other than who the person really is. Best friends, siblings, spouse, that sort of thing.” 

Jack crossed his arms over his chest. “Do you know what could’ve happened to them?” My brother shrugged. 

“Beats the hell outta me. Except for employees, I have no idea if these people have anything in common.” The Doctor straightened in his chair. 

“Wait, you said they see people they know instead of the real person?” 

Koltyn cocked an eyebrow him. “Yeah, why?” The Doctor jumped out of his chair so fast it tipped over and fell. 

“Because it means everything! That SPECIFIC side-effect is the result of only ONE species in the entire universe, and that’s the Psylectros! Through physical contact, they can view your memories like a… like a movie or film. They THEN manipulate your brain activity so your senses are affected however they want, so you become completely disoriented. Their race has brought about so many wars and revolutions and movements in just the history of the human race SO FAR that I’ve lost count. The stabbing of Julius Ceaser, the French Revolution, Civil Rights, more than you’ll ever believe. If one is here now, it’s gotta be planning something BIG.” 

“Twenty-first century is when it all changes”, Jack muttered with a dazed look on his face. After a moment of staring into space, he snapped his head up to stare at the Doctor. “How could the affects still be there without contact?” 

The Doctor scratched at the back of his head while turning to Koltyn. “Did any of these people have a tattoo, or a mark that looked out of the ordinary?” My brother glanced between the three of us, Jack and I hanging onto the Doctor’s every word, before answering. 

“Yeah. They all a tattoo on their wrist. Looked like archaic angel wings or something. Real small, only big enough to fit on a quarter, maybe.” It took a moment for my brain to process. 

“Wait, a fallen angel mark?” Koltyn stared at me before cocking his head to the side. 

“OK, I KNOW you never paid attention in those stupid Bible-study-for-kids classes we had when we went to church with Meemaw when we were little, so how the hell do you know that shit?" 

I gave him a look that clearly said ’bitch please’. “I had to do SOME research on angelic mythology to understand some of the plot-points on SUPERNATURAL. But back to the point; I actually know where that tattoo might be from. That exact mark is the logo for the club named FALLEN ANGEL down on Taylor.” Jack’s head whipped around so fast, I feared he was gonna get whip-lash. 

“Wait, YOU know about a CLUB? Sister Mary Johanna?” I mock laughed as I stood up and walked behind the desk, nudging Koltyn out of the chair so I could take his place. 

“Ha ha. Very funny asshat. The only reason I know about it is ‘cause some of my friends down here took me there to celebrate my 18th.” I shook the mouse of the computer to clear the screensaver of Koltyn, me, and our two younger brothers, Mikey and Gauge, at the beach last summer before continuing. “It was actually pretty awesome. You need a special invite to get in, and since a cousin of one of my friends worked opening week, he managed to snag us some of the invites. They weren’t doing the tattoos when I was there.” 

The Doctor leaned over my shoulder before I could explain what I was doing, putting his glasses on as he did so. “What the hell are you doing? This is no time to be blogging you know.” I laughed before pulling up Google. 

“I’m not blogging you bastard, I’m googling the club so we can find a website.” Once I typed in the name of the club, along with the zip code, the first suggestion led us right where we needed. Jack and Koltyn moved to join the Doctor behind me as I started reading the information on the business and its owner. 

“Started just over… five months ago by one Richard Brooke. Time fits with the incident timelines. And it’s oddly fitting that this guy took Moriarty’s alias.” The Doctor took the mouse from my hand and started scrolling. At the bottom of the page was a picture of who I assumed to be Mr. Reichanbach himself. And dear Jesus, this dude was HOT. 

Deep brunette curls like Benedict Cumberbatch, a lean but still muscular build and face like Tom Hiddleston, and the most gorgeous blue eyes that looked straight off of Misha Collins. The photo showed him standing in front of the club, thumbs hooked into the belt loops of his torn and frayed black jeans. Muscles stood out in his forearms before disappearing into the rolled-up sleeves of a deep purple satin button-down with the first two buttons undone to show his collarbone. Even on the screen, the obvious ’come hither’ was screaming at me from his eyes and sexy-as-hell smirk. I couldn’t help but stare at the photo as I heard Koltyn ask the Doctor why he’d asked about the tats. 

“They can affect your brain by using a toxin naturally produced by their bodies. They then secrete it through touch into your body through pores where the toxin enters blood stream, and thus brain. But if they can produce enough of it at one time, they can concentrate it and almost make a brand so the toxin stays in your system for a longer time. The only problem is they can manipulate the mark to look like whatever they want. Our only saving grace is the toxin reacts in a way to make it an unnatural color on the skin, so it’s a vivid color no matter what. THERE!!” I was snapped out of my reverie when he shouted and pointed to the photo. Where Brooke’s thumb met the back of his hand, there was a neon blue splotch, almost like dripping paint. 

“That’s the mark that identifies them!” 

Jack sighed, “Great. Now we just gotta find a way to sneak in there unnoticed so we can figure out what’s going on.” Koltyn reached around the computer and pulled a black envelope from between some magazines. 

“Actually, that won’t be necessary.” The words had barely escaped his mouth before Jack snatched the paper from his hand. He read over the address label a moment before reaching forward and thumping my brother in the chest with it. 

“You had this the whole time and forgot to mention it?” 

“Hey, I forgot I had it! I got it like a week ago and was gonna surprise my fiancée with going. Now it looks like I gotta take one of you bozos.” I laughed as I leaned back in the chair to look at him. 

“Oh, by the way. Tell Mia we say hi. And that I’ll return her scarf later.” 

He stared at me a moment before pinching the bridge of his nose under his glasses and sighing. “You mean to tell me that when she told me she ‘met a girl named Jo at her doctor’s appointment’ who she let borrow her 16 foot scarf, that I made for her by the way, that was you?” 

The Doctor scuffed his foot against the floor, looking sheepish. “Yeah. Sontarans, nasty business. The scarf helped tie them up.” 

Koltyn held up his hands in an exasperated manner. “Not even gonna ask. Anyway, the card says me and a guest are invited for an all-expenses paid visit to the club. So, who am I going to take?” I shrugged my shoulder. 

“Well, you and I can use that one, and those two have psychic paper.” The Doctor clapped his hands together, smiling a grin that could’ve been described as manic. 

“Great. Now all we need to do is figure out the details. We can nip back to the TARDIS for a bit to get changed an-“ 

“Uh. No.” 

He looked at me as if I’d just slapped him and insulted his mother. “What d’you mean, no? I’ve got plenty of clothes for everyone in there and it’ll take barely any time at all!” 

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, I know you do, but none of that stuff is fit for clubbing.” 

He crossed his arms and gave me a haughty, superior look. “Well then, what do YOU suggest we do?” 

Jack and Koltyn sniggered as I slipped a credit card from my back pocket. “Mall shopping, my dear clueless friend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am now proud to say that I actually crocheted the Fourth Doctor's scarf myself. It took just under three months and measures out to be 16 feet 5 inches, so of course I had to.


	4. Heading to the mall. What could possibley go wrong?

"Alright, so we're all agreed; food first, THEN shopping." I said as we all piled out of Koltyn's Ford truck. It'd taken us only ten minutes to arrive from the shop to the mall, using that time to formulate a plan for tonight. 

We’ll get there, blend into the crowds, talk to the employees to find out some additional info, one of us will sneak into the control room-slash-Brooke’s office, find out what exactly is going on, subdue Brooke, almost die, and miraculously live by flying off into the TARDIS. Piece of cake. 

Approaching the entrance below the food court, I thought just how nice it was to be doing something normal for a change. And as we entered the lower level of the mall, I was reminded of the exact reason I didn't go here after school. And why I thought being normal was overrated. 

Even on a side wing, almost all the extra space not taken by vendors was occupied by teenagers fresh from school. The oldest one couldn't have been older than 15. Popular-type-looking girls intermingled with the punk kids while jocks stood around joking with not only each other, but the AXE-fermented nerdy types as well. A few feet away from our rag-tag team, a group of three girls all dressed in low-cut, flowery dresses were obviously ogling and drooling over a group of footballers from Portage High. They were like vultures circling prey. Giggling at everything the guys said, batting their lashes, following their group like puppies, resting their hands on the guy’s defined biceps, that sort of thing. 

As soon as they were far enough away, I turned to side and bent at the waist making gagging noises. In my peripheral vision, the Doctor raised an eyebrow. 

“I take it you weren’t one to flaunt over boys like that in school.” Koltyn stared at him in a manner reminiscent of looking at the camera in THE OFFICE. 

“You obviously don’t know my sister. Not only has she NEVER acted like that about anybody but fictional characters and celebrities, she’d jump off a cliff sooner than dress girly. Most of the time anyway; she has been known to do it in the summer or for dances. She thinks she looks ditsy when she dresses up like that.” 

"Oh, I don't know," Jack said walking over and put an arm around my waist. Before I could react, he tugged my body towards his, slipping his hand into my back jeans pocket as he did so, causing me to straighten from my hunch-over position and be spun, being pulled flush against the front of his body. He stared straight into my eyes before murmuring, “I bet you’d look sexy in a dress like that.” 

I sniggered while hearing a low growl from behind me, coming from either the Doctor or my brother. I didn't know which of those possibilities was funnier. 

"So you’d rather me dress and act like that on a normal basis?” I asked with a flirty raised eyebrow. 

Jack gave me a ‘bitch please’ look. “Hell no, I’d shoot you myself. Plus you’d be way less fun.” 

Before I could come up with a counter-sass reply, my stomach gave a loud growl, making its unhappiness at being empty known. Snorting, and disentangling myself from him in the process, I cocked my head at the three of them in an obvious sign to follow me. And if I threw a saucy wink at the Doctor over my shoulder before turning away, no one could really blame me. He was just too easy to tease. Weaving through the crowds, it didn’t take long to reach the escalator that led to the start of the food court. And with only minimal thoughts of *ew, ew they’re getting gross teenager on me, ew* with the occasional *youths* thrown in. 

On the short ride to the second floor, I turned to Jack and the Doctor. “Alright, you two find us somewhere to sit while Kolt and I get the food. It’s about time you guys were introduced to fine American cuisine.” And not ten minutes later, our band of misfits was sitting comfortably in a corner booth near the arcade with trays laden with foods such as tacos, pizza, low mien, teriyaki and bourbon chicken, Schoop’s burgers, fries, onion rings, pirogues, and enough cherry Coca-Cola to hydrate the Sahara. 

Dividing the food between us all, I heard a burst of giggles erupt from a few tables down. *Please be a group of toddler girls with adorable blonde ringlets*, I thought, knowing it was too much to ask. Glancing over in the direction of the outburst, I saw possibly the worst source in existence. The group of girls from earlier were seated all on the same side of a long booth, and were staring at the two time-travelers across from the native Hoosiers known as my brother and I. 

The girl in the middle, with blonde hair done up in a French braid, had her iPhone out and in front of her, while the other two, a brunette with waves and a redhead with a ponytail, looked between the guys and whatever was on her phone. 

Suppressing a snort, I leaned forward slightly and dropped my voice in a conspiratol tone. “Oh, boys. I think you have some admirers.” At their confused looks I cocked an eyebrow in the direction of the girls, who were now whispering together while stealing glances over to us. 

Koltyn shook his head before picking up his taco again. “They probably have the hots for geeky guys and World War II vet wannabees,” he sniggered. 

I turned back to him and thumped his arm. “Hey! As it so happens, I have the hots for geeky guys and actual World War II vets, numbnuts. But gimme a minute; I'm gonna see what they're doing." Before any of them could stop me, I stood up from my seat and walked back they way I'd just come, passing behind the giggly trio. Using the napkin dispenser on the cart behind them as a ruse, I looked over my shoulder to see just what they were doing with the phone. And when I found the answer it took all of my willpower to not burst out laughing. Gathering all the little squares of paper in my hands, I calmly walked back to our table, sit down with my hands resting atop the napkins, and, after a beat, double over onto the table from laughing so hard. 

"What the hell?" Jack sounded half concerned, half amused. 

"They're- they're taking-pi…PICTURES OF YOU!" I forced out between giggles, the statement causing me to laugh even harder than before. I threw my arms around my brother and hung off him while the Doctor and Jack could only look between each other. 

As my giggles finally started to recede a few minutes later, the Doctor shook his head while turning back to his burger. "I don't think I'll ever know what to do with you, Jo." 

"Love me, pet me, save my life a few times a day," I shrugged. 

Finally digging into my low mien I heard Jack snort. "So nothing exactly new?" 

I pointed my chopsticks at him not-so-threateningly. "Hey, 'f you wan' 'o tell 'his bozho," I flicked my wrist to indicate the Doctor, who looked up upon being mentioned again, "To s'op pokin' 'things wif a shtick, be my guesht." I swallowed my mouthful before continuing. "At least all we have to do after this is find some decent outfits for you guys, because I've already got stuff I can wear. Then if we have enough time, we can head back to the TARDIS for a quick movie or something before I have to drag the Doc off to fix him up." 

Next thing I know, the Doctor's choking and Jack is hitting him on the back to clear it. When he was calm, the Time Lord looked at me, slightly panicked. 

"Why do you need to 'drag me off'?" 

I shrugged again. "I have a very specific look that I wanna at least try on you. Now c'mon, let's hurry and eat so we can get the clothes and then get the fuck out of here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I realized that pretty much none of the food is strictly "American", but I have cousins from Wales (hence making Ianto one of them in the second chapter) and whenever they visit we always joke that they get fine American cuisine. And for those who sadly don't know, pirogues are pretty much Polish ravioli but with potatoes and whatever else intead of sauce or meat. And Schoop's is pretty much the best diner food you'll ever find and I have to say, that is one of the few things from Indiana that I sorely miss even after almost 5 years in Wisconsin. Also, their cherry Coke is made on location every day and they use real marichino cherry juice. I'm drooling just thinking about it.


	5. Shopping. Oh joy...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No spoilers, but Tamy is one of my friends and she was my biggest encouragement to actually write instead of being on Tumblr, so she got a special insert. Never say I don't love you hon ;3

"Sweet Jesus, it's like you've never even CONSIDERED dressing for clubbing before." I shook my head as I took in the outfits my friends and brother were wearing. 

Koltyn was wearing a camouflage muscle shirt and torn jeans with hiking boots undone around the leg cuffs. Jack wore almost the same outfit as usual, except he'd lost the bracers and wore a matching skull belt and leather wristband. And, par for the course, the Doctor was in a black suit and black Converse. 

Jack chuckled while placing his left hand on his hip. "In my defense, the only time I've been to any of this century's clubs we were trying to catch an alien murderer." I pressed my head into my hands while the Doctor and Koltyn stared at Jack. 

"I can't believe this is happening to me," I muttered, sighing, into my palms before standing straight and tall, military sergeant style; the way my dad taught me to do when I meant business and demanded attention. "Alright, here's what's gonna happen. Jack, black leather pants, midnight blue button-up. Kolt, black button-up; silk if they have it. Doctor, change out of that…thing- don't give me that look, you look like you're either going to ask for my dinner order or heading to a funeral- and follow me. Koltyn knows where we'll be." Shocked at my outburst, they stared at me a moment like deer caught in headlights. 

"Now!" my voice rang out in the linoleum labyrinth, making the three men split off, Time Lord going in the vague direction of changing stalls while the others went back toward men's. The only word of complaint from any of them was in the form of Jack telling my brother, 

"She scares me sometimes."

"Well, she's got a big mouth and bigger attitude, so it all evens out in the end."

A chuckle came from Jack. "Wonder how that'd translate into other situations."

"Dude, gross! That's my baby sister!"

"Yet you're fine with me sleeping with your cousin and him relaying the dirt?"

"Point taken, but still; gross!"

I could only roll my eyes at their interaction. *At least they're getting along and not at each others throats. It'd be a reenactment of The Quiet Man, except future versus present instead of Irish versus Philadelphia.*

I'd barely waited any time at all before the Doctor returned, back in his blue suit and red Converse. Not waiting for him to really ask what I had planned I immediately turned on my heel and exited the random store the guys'd dragged me into. Easily matching my quick, long strides, he cast a curious glance back over his shoulder. 

"How do you know your brother's going to know exactly where you're going?" I smirked a bit, weaving around the groups of teens and catching the escalator to the second floor before answering. 

"Kolt may be a bit slow when it comes to me, but he's aware that it's impossible for me to go to any mall anywhere and not stop at one particular store." He raise an eyebrow, obviously not knowing what I was talking about. As we finally could see the second set of stores, and the establishment in question, I waved my hand with a flourish towards the storefront. "May I present to you, the gift to all nerds and goths on the planet: Hot Topic." Taking a large step off the escalator, and channeling Johnny Depp the whole time, I quickly made my escape from whatever popular hippy-dippy love song they had playing over the intercoms and stepped into my own personal heaven, complete with My Chemical Romance belting out the chorus to I'm Not Okay (I Promise). 

I breathed in the scents of leather, cotton, metal, and various dyes and polishes that permeated the air around us. "Ahh. Feels good to be back in my natural environment, don't ya think, Doc?" I asked, turning my head towards him with a large grin. Which got impossibly wider when I saw that he was strictly not looking at a leather and lace corset just a foot to his left. 

"Yeah, Jo. Listen, um, why are we in here again? I never pegged you as one to shop here, is all." He'd started tugging at his ear, the only sign he'd unconsciously give to alert his nervousness and apprehension. Feeling a tad sorry for him, I walked across the small-ish space separating us and covered his left hand with my right, gently pushing his hand down so it rested at his side. 

"There's no need to be nervous, I just wanted to find an outfit for you here. They have some really great stuff that I know you'll love. And as to why I come here," my grin turned a tad bit ecstatic. "They carry a bunch of stuff for Supernatural along with all the pop-culture shit I love." I gave a slightly manic giggle before tugging on his hand, dragging him behind me as I headed for the displays of t-shirts in the back section of the store. 

Passing the sections strictly for my fandoms, sadly, I started scoping out some shirts that he might actually agree to. Figuring he was a medium in men's, I dove into the stacks and started thumbing through layer upon layer of cotton, tossing my selections over my shoulder in his general direction. The only real problem would be jeans. You just couldn't guess when it came to how each pair would fit you. Thus, upon finding the largest pairs of jeans I could for him, I shoved all the clothes in his arms. 

"Wait here 'til I come and get you." He honestly looked a little scared while he nodded. "Good, now I just gotta find someone to unlock the fitting rooms for us." I ducked around a display, searching for a particular person. One I knew would be working today. 

I found Tamy working behind the register, obviously having a slow day as she twirled her long-ish blonde hair with a Spock pen while reading what appeared to be The Fault in Our Stars by John Green if the "hump the moist cave wall" pages were to be trusted. I smiled as I swaggered on up to her. 

"'Scuse me darlin', but d'you happen to know the best way back to Texas for this here cowboy?" I asked in the fakest Southern drawl you've probably ever heard. She glanced up from her book before doing a double-take, realizing who I was. She grinned at me before adopting an accent of her own. 

"Well, I'm not from around these her' parts, but I reckon you just keep going south 'til ya hit water 'fore turnin' west, you'll find ole Lone Star soon 'nough." I snorted out a laugh as I leaned over the counter to hug her. 

"See, this is why we're friends." She huffed out a laugh of her own, pulling back from the hug to leave the counter so we could talk. 

"Damn straight. Why didn't you tell me you were coming down? You normally text or something." 

I shrugged, scratching at the back of my neck. "Well, this wasn't exactly a planned visit. I actually need your help for a bit." She nodded, waiting for me to explain. "Remember me telling you about that doctor I'm assisting?" She nodded again as I subtly pointed over to the Doctor, who'd managed to wander over the the Star Wars merchandise and was perusing the shirts. "Well we're going to a party for a close cousin of his at FALLEN ANGEL, but he's never really worn anything but his suits. You mind getting us a dressing room & maybe helping him find sizes and styles that'd be appropriate?" She appraised him for a minute, sizing him up before giving a final, curt nod. 

"Yeah, I got some stuff that'd work for him. I think he'd look good in a punk kinda outfit; maybe spike his hair a little more, add a leather jacket...." She trailed off before picking her way over to him with me following close behind. He lifted a shirt from the stack, not glancing over his shoulder but obviously knowing I'd come back. It showed Darth Vader holding a cookie with "COME TO THE DARK SIDE, WE HAVE COOKIES" written along the top and bottom of the shirt. 

"Jo, what d'you think? I want to get it for obvious reasons, but I'm kinda torn between wanting to blend in and not wanting to get molested." The Doctor turned, finally noticing Tamy's presence. He seemed floundered, realizing what he'd said, to a complete stranger no less. 

"I- I um- I didn't mean-" he started, but we cut him off by bursting into hysterical giggles. He glanced between us with a slightly horrified look on his face. When we finally petered off, I patted his shoulder in reassurance. 

"Don't worry about it, Doc; she's cool. I've said much worse around her. Anyway, Tamy, this is Doctor John Smith. Doctor, this is my friend Tamy. She's gonna help you find a style for your cousin's party tonight." Having recovered from our outburst, he stuck out his hand to her. 

"Pleasure to meet you." She grinned at him as she shook his hand. 

"Trust me, the pleasure's all mine. Johanna's told me so much about you and I've been wanting to meet you for a while now." At her mischievous look, he glanced over at me while my face started to burn. Needless to say, I'd told her many a time how I had a serious crush on him. Apparently deciding to leave that matter for later, he grinned at her before dropping her hand. 

"Shall we?" The next few minutes consisted of Tamy leading him around the store and handing him more and more clothes before finally leading him to a fitting room, with Koltyn and Jack wondering in just after he went in to try on his first outfit. Surprisingly, this was the most normal adventure I'd been on so far. 

Koltyn and I were arguing over which shirts were better while Jack occupied his time flirting with Tamy mercilessly. We all nearly forgot about the Doctor by the time he finally called out to let us know he was going to come out and show us the outfit he'd chosen. The four of us crowded around the door waiting for him to open it. 

"Alright, I'm coming out now, so don't laugh." 

Jack chuckled at the muttered statement. "No promises there." 

The Doctor sighed before we heard the door click open. And I honestly thought I'd die of happiness when I saw his clothes. 

He had on a form-fitting black shirt for The Who, a surprisingly well-fitted leather jacket, skin-tight ripped jeans, and neon splattered black Chucks. He played his fingertips through the lightly gelled fringe hanging in his eyes. 

"I dunno Tam, I'm not sure it's me." 

She scoffed before stepping over to swat his hand away. "Trust me, its you." 

Jack and I shared a covert look that said that we both knew EXACTLY how much that look suited him. 

"You're going to be beating everyone off with a stick." 

He huffed again, shoving his hands in his pockets. "If you say so." Deciding to clear the air, I coughed. 

"So, you think he'll be able to pull this off?" 

Tamy cocked her head. "I don't see why not. You might want to add a few more touches here and there, but I think he's good." I glanced at the Star Wars clock on the wall. 

"Well, I should be able to come up with something; we've got just about 3 1/2 hours, so we can probably fit in a movie real quick before getting ready." 

Koltyn snorted, folding his arms as he did so. "Oh yeah, what movie?" 

The Doctor and I looked at each other before splitting into identical, maniacal grins.


	6. TURN DOWN FOR WHAT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, this chapter kinda gets a bit steamy at the end, but it's PG-13. Again, this is my first time writing anything like it, so go easy on me. And if case you wanted to know, 10's outfit is pretty much the same as David's in the fight scene at the end of Fright Night. I just shortened the coat and changed the shirt. I found the design in the store when I was writing this chapter originally, and I thought it'd fit. And my shirt is from the famous Tom Hiddleston Twitter picture, and I'm proud to say I actually own it

"Everything was fine with our system, until the power grid was shut off by dickless here." Koltyn shook his head while the Doctor and I started snickering, Jack smiling at us fondly from his end of the couch he shared with Koltyn. My legs were thrown over the Time Lord's lap over on our own couch, a position we often favored while watching films in what downtime we had. 

"I will never understand why you guys love this movie so much," my brother mumbled. We calmed ourselves in just enough time for Bill Murray to say "Yes sir it's true; this man has no dick." That statement set us off, our laughter drowning out the rest of the dialogue. 

I clutched at the Doctor's shoulders as I started to fall off the couch. He reached out and grasped my elbows, thinking to pull me back onto the couch, yet only succeeding in falling along with me. We land on our sides, giggles still racking our bodies. When I'm finally able to speak properly, I take a moment to admire how relaxed and carefree he is. Million watt smile causing his sparkling eyes to crinkle as his body shook with laughter. 

Trying to make it less obvious that I was staring, I patted his knee while I sat up. "Oh-okay, okay. As much as I hate to say this, we need to get you ready." 

He cast a longing glance back at the movie as he braced himself on his forearms. "Do we have to? I mean, it can't possibly take half an hour to get me all prepped and ready to go." I pulled a signature Sam Winchester bitchface. 

"Trust me, it will. Now you better start heading back to my room before I go all cavewoman on your ass and drag you in there by the ear." Never before had I ever seen the Doctor, or my brother for that matter, that red. 

Jack chuckled while the Doctor stood to follow me. "Ooh, feisty; I like that." I threw the former Time Agent a wink over my shoulder before I disappeared out the door. 

Navigating the maze of halls in the TARDIS was second nature to me now. She'd managed to establish a psychic link with me almost as soon as I was brought on board. She always knew just what I wanted and gently nudged me in the direction I needed to go, even shifting rooms closer if the occasion called for it. Passing all manner of doorways along the way, it didn't take long to reach my bedroom. 

A queen sized bed complete with emerald green and black covers is shoved against the far wall. A large cherry wood desk against the wall to the left, papers and notebooks covering what space wasn't taken up by a brand-new Apple computer. A large picture window to the right of my bed, complete with pillows, blankets, and cushions, showed any landscape I could think of. The sunny countryside and outskirts of Florence, Italy shown through into the box still parked behind my brother's auto shop in Indiana. A door off to the right led into a state-of-the-art bathroom. Books were scattered and stacked anywhere I could find room for them. Yet since he'd never actually seen my room, he seemed almost awed as he stepped into the center, turning to look at every corner, along with the art on the walls. I'd managed to document our adventures together by transferring them onto all sizes and types of paper. Different aliens, wildlife, and flora littered the free space on every side of us. 

Leaving him to his own devices, I started gathering up the bags of stuff I'd bought at the mall earlier before tossing them on the foot of my bed, along with the jacket Tamy had found for him. I held onto the biggest bag, full of some of the outfits we'd decided, before shoving it into his arms, pointing him to the bathroom. 

"You can change in there. Most of what I have planned you won't be able to later." He nodded and half-smiled before following my instructions. Knowing he'd be pretty quick, I ducked under my desk to make sure some of my sketchbooks were mostly hidden away. Those'd be too embarrassing to explain to him. I stood up and swung my desk chair next to where I'd set the bags. As I swept around the room gathering more supplies, I heard a breathy chuckle from the bathroom. 

"Out of all the places in the universe, why Florence?" 

I paused for a moment before answering. "Well, I've wanted to go there since I was a kid." I answered him as I scooped different bottles and cans into my hands. "I was raised on movies like Under the Tuscan Sun, so I've always had a fascination with Italy. But I never got why everyone wanted to see Venice. Sure, they have all the waterways and everything, but Florence just always seemed more interesting and colorful than Venice." 

He hummed thoughtfully as I heard the rustle of fabric. "Never thought of it that way; though I guess you're right. Florence always had an almost cozy, get-drunk-off-your-arse-and-wake-up-naked-next-to-stolen-artwork kind of feel to it." I laughed, staring incredulously at the door as if he were standing there. 

"Now that I think of it, that does fit quite well." I turned back to my bed, putting down a small hand towel so nothing stained my sheets when the sound of silk sliding over cotton distracted me from my actions. My thoughts were helpful as ever, supplying images to what could be happening on the other side of the inch-thick wood. 

The Doctor unbuttoning his suit jacket before loosening the knot in his tie, using his index finger the way he always does- 

*stop it*

\- letting the restricting silk fall from his long, pianist hands- 

*didn't I just tell you to quit it*

\- the same hands gliding along the buttons of his shirt, opening it to expose the lean torso, letting the cotton practically melt off his shoulders- 

*mind, I'm not afraid to cut a bitch*

\- before he glides his hands along his hips, coming to a stop right at the button-

*WOULD YOU GIVE IT A REST?!* 

My right hand came up and slapped myself across the face, jarring me out of my thoughts to discover that he'd continued talking, obviously not knowing about the inner-war I was currently fighting. 

"- Even got caught in Rome for a couple of weeks; got named Holy Roman Emperor. They tried to execute me when they finally figured out that I wasn't Roman, let alone human, but it was fun nonetheless." 

The door clicked open behind me, so I rushed across the room and back to my desk to keep him from seeing my flushed face. I pretended to be looking at the labels on different nail polishes until I heard the telling air release of him sitting in my computer chair. Picking up the black lacquer, I started to shake it while I turned back to face him. 

"Alrighty, I'm gonna be doing your nails first 'cause I don't need you bitching at me all-" My words caught in my throat when I finally registered what he was wearing. 

Black, frayed jeans clung tantalizingly to the mile-long legs thrown over one arm of the chair while a pair of Converse, almost the same exact shade of blue as the TARDIS, were laced up to his ankles. Skin-tight black cotton showed a picture of Darth Vader ,with 'Warning: Choking Hazard' printed around him, stamped onto a V-neck. 

*I'm so gonna kill Jack when all this is over.*

The Doctor started picking at the frayed knee of his jeans, not noticing my lapse. "Whatever you think looks best, though I don't see why I need all this." 

I sat next to him on the bed, gently picking up his right hand so I could start. "Well," I said as I brushed the substance over his fingernail. "We want to blend in as much as possible, and this will help you not stand out like a sore thumb." 

He scoffed in semi-mock hurt. "I think I can very well blend in on my own." 

I looked at him over my glasses, raising an eyebrow as I did so. "On a normal basis, sure. But lets face it, you'd practically be walking in there with a neon sign above your head saying 'Here I am, please kill me and my friends immediately.'" 

He laughed. "Yeah, true enough." 

The next fifteen minutes consisted was filled with our easy banter while I not only finished painting his nails black, but also using gel to tease his hair so it was artfully messy instead of just unruly. I even wrangled him into wearing a bit of eyeliner. When I was done, I grabbed the leather jacket and tossed it at him, though he easily caught it with one hand. 

"You may as well put that on. I still gotta change real quick before we go." He gestured back toward the bathroom as he shrugged on the leather. 

"It's all yours." 

It barely took me any time at all to get changed. Dark blue jeans, my green & black Converse, and my own leather jacket all went with a fitted black Loki shirt. The print showed the classic comic villian reclining on a throne, dissecting the phrase 'You Mad? I DO WHAT I WANT' so it was above and below him, respectively. To finish off my outfit, I threw on my guitar pick necklace engraved with my name before using a bit of hairspray to tease my hair into place. And if i happened to slip a small knife into the jacket pocket up near the collar, well, no one could really judge me. It was harder to explain the fold-able crochet hook in my back jeans pocket. Some people carried a lucky penny, I carried a crochet hook so my hands had something to play with when I got nervous. Sue me.

Stepping out of the bathroom after about five minutes, I heard the rustling of paper coming from near my desk. My face immediately went red when I saw what has happening. The newly made-up Doctor was leaning his hip against the edge of my desk, flipping through the sketches I'd wanted to keep hidden from him. 

Each paper showed one or the other, or both in some cases, of the time traveling duo I traveled with, but over two-thirds of the book showcased the Time Lord alone. Different views helped me portray his wide emotional spectrum; from the crinkle-inducing smile he got whenever I found something new to get excited over, to the pure rage he'd shown when threatening some Cybermen who'd almost killed me. He turned each page carefully, almost in reverence of the graphite renditions. 

I slowly started to edge out of the room so as to not alert him of my presence. Just as I was going to leave, I heard him breathe out a word that was completely unexpected. 

"Beautiful." 

I turned back towards him to see one hand reaching out to brush along the paper. I interjected before I could stop myself. 

"I wouldn't do that." 

The Doctor froze, one finger tracing a picture of himself chewing on the arm of his glasses, as he glanced up at me in surprise. I shifted from foot to foot, nervous from his staring. "I haven't laminated any of those. The oils on your skin could smudge the graphite." His gaze flicked back down to the paper for a moment before returning to me. 

"Why do you hide it?" 

His question caught me off guard. Laughter, and even maybe anger, I expected, but not this. I stood shocked, still near the door, as he stared at me like he was trying to see straight through me. I floundered a moment before ducking my head. 

"I kinda thought you'd be upset with me," I mumbled, scuffing my foot. A deafening silence engulfed the room. I didn't raise my head as I didn't want to know what he was doing. Just as the lack of reaction was getting to be too much, I saw his shoes practically run over to me before I was engulfed in a bone-crushing hug. My body tensed minutely before I allowed myself to relax into him. My arms wound their way around his waist as I somewhat unconsciously burrowed my head against his chest, letting his unique scent of apples, cinnamon, various chemicals, and something purely *him* surround me. He shifted with me, finally stopping so his head rested atop mine. 

"Why in the name of Gallifrey would this make me upset?" 

I shrugged as much as I could in my position. "Drawing you without asking if you're ok with it. I just never really show people my work 'cause they'd want to be drawn next." 

His arms tightened around my shoulders. "Jo, you should never to feel like you have to hide. You should let the universe know just how talented you are. Your work is absolutely brilliant; I've never seen anything like it." 

I flushed at his praise in spite of not really wanting him to know how I felt, especially about him. As if sensing the heat, and knowing him he probably could, he pulled back so he could look me in the eye. "You have an amazing gift, Johanna, and you should embrace it." I ducked my head again at his words. He gently hooked two fingers under my chin, lifting my face to his. His chocolate brown eyes searched my face. 

"You know I'm not just saying this, right? It's not just because I-" He broke off suddenly, his hand moving from under my chin to cup the corner of my jaw. The Time Lord huffed, and I knew that if his hands were free, he'd be tugging his hair in frustration. "I'm absolute rubbish with saying these things, always have.... so why don't I just…show you." 

Not giving me any time to react, the Doctor tilted my face back and kissed me. 

*And you'd had me convinced a banana was more sexual than you.* 

I smiled before losing myself in the kiss. He drifted the arm still around my shoulders down to encompass my waist, easily bringing me even closer to his body. After a few moments of somewhat hesitant contact, and seeing that I wasn't pulling away, he slowly licked along my bottom lip. I sighed, allowing him to open my mouth a bit while simultaneously moving my arms around his shoulders. I twisted one hand in his hair before giving it a small tug, testing the waters. He groaned against my mouth, the hand at my jaw quickly shifting to the back of my neck so he could have more control as his movements started to take on a wild, harried edge to them. 

I got so lost in kissing him back that I didn't even notice his arm around my waist tightening before easily picking me up. Purely on instinct, I wrapped my legs around him to keep my position before he backed us into the wall near the door. Arm now free, he let his hand drift down my side, slowly bringing the fabric of my shirts up so he could caress my bare hip. Just as I was planning on doing the same to him, somebody cleared their throat from the doorway. 

The Doctor broke away, still keeping his hands on me. "What the bloody hell do you want, Jack?" 

I glared daggers at the man in question. He was dressed fully in black, from the satin button-up with rolled sleeves to the just-tight-enough jeans over his usual boots. The immortal gave us a slow once-over, giving us a knowing smirk as he did so. He braced a forearm against the doorframe. 

"Well it's about time you two figured it all out." 

The Doctor growled. *Ooh, I'm gonna need to make use of THAT later.* 

"Harkness, if you know what's good for you, you'll leave this room immediately." Jack put his hands up on surrender, turning back around. He paused just outside the door. 

"So what you're saying is, I'm not invited." 

"OUT!"


	7. Walk up into the club like, whattup, I have social anxiety and really hate being here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just FYI, I promised that I'd write my friends into this and I've done a pretty kick-ass job so far, so I decided to keep everyone in because some of their lines are just too good to pass up. Side-note: My friend Becca wanted to be written in somewhere but didn't want an actual part, hence the squirrel.

"Johanna! What the hell are you doing?" 

"Little bastard hit me with an acorn!" I shouted over my shoulder as I chased a red and black-striped squirrel around FALLEN ANGEL's parking lot. Just as we'd all piled out of Koltyn's Ford truck, I'd gotten nailed in the eye by the rodent in question. My main issue with the squirrel though was not the acorn to the eye, but how said nut managed to move around my glasses to get me. 

She-and I'm guessing here 'cause there's no way I'm looking at it's junk-managed to escape me by running along a wire stapled to the side of the building. She perched on the edge and glared down at me, silently daring me to do something. 

"Jo, would you stop playing with the squirrel and start being serious about this?" I shot a dirty look over my shoulder at the furball as I rejoined our little group near the door. 

Koltyn shook his head at my antics. "You'd think that you'd worry more about the potentially dangerous alien we're gonna go fight than getting hit with a flying object. Again." 

I stuck my tongue out at my brother. The two time-travelers took everything in stride, completely used to my behavior by this point. Koltyn rolled his eyes at me before stepping into the club. 

The small entryway leading to the bouncer cut between two long, curving bars that twisted around the front wall and partway along the sides. Dark booths along either side were practically hidden under the alcoves created by the private rooms on the top floor. Windows of these rooms, made of one-sided glass, reflected the gyrating bodies taking up room on the dance floor below. Speakers set into the walls every couple of feet provided a deep, bone-shaking bass at practically every step. My friends and I stood in awe of the environment before Jack finally spoke up. 

"Okay, as much as I'd love to spend some quality time here, we got a job to do." 

I pouted at him. "Killjoy." 

Nonetheless, I reached into my back pocket for Koltyn's invite. I held it out to the bouncer, only to have him barely glance at it. 

"Go ahead and see Camy, she'll take you on up." I felt the Doctor and Jack slowly flank me as I stood there floundering. 

"Wait, 'on up' where?" 

Kyle, as his name tag stated, gave me a once-over. With his rugged good looks, I would've normally been flattered, but under the circumstances I was more apprehensive. "A bunch of people came in earlier and rented a private room; told us to send you up when you got here." The tone of his voice suggested I was the only one expected. 

Koltyn stepped forward. "All four of us are together." 

Kyle shrugged in a 'not-my-problem' sort of way. "She's the only one we were supposed to look out for, so she's the only one we're supposed to send up. It's in the rules." Subtly pulling my shirt down to expose a bit of cleavage, I moved around my brother so I was the center of Kyle's attention, even putting my hand on his arm. 

"Well, I'm sure you can make an exception just this once, can't you?" I gazed up at him through my lashes while I stroked circles over his bicep. 

He blinked at me a few times before signaling another employee over. 

I smiled at him as my friends passed us. "Thank you so very much." 

Kyle smirked at me before ducking his head so he could murmur in my ear. "You know, if you wanna ditch these guys and have some real fun, my shift ends in half-an-hour." Not gracing him with an answer, I simply cast my gaze down his body as I sauntered away. Just out of earshot, I let a shiver wrack my entire body. 

"Jesus tap-dancing Christ, next time I try to pull that shit, someone slap me." The statement had barely passed my lips before I felt my throat tighten at all the people around me. 

Normally I could keep myself calm enough to bare through situations like this when I needed to, but the sudden tight press of bodies against me promptly took a rocket launcher to my defenses. Yet I didn't even have time to alert anyone to my predicament before the Doctor reached over and took my hand on his. He smoothed his thumb along the back of my hand, helping to calm my nerves. I shot him a grateful look and he squeezed my hand in response. 

Barely any time passed before we were being lead up an ornate hidden staircase in the corner of the building. The second floor landing was about the size of a cut-in-half basketball court. Long blacklights were fixed in the corners made by ceiling and floor meeting walls, illuminating multi-colored paint splatters everywhere you looked. A long corridor to our right was much the same, while a singular metal door, set back from the rest of the landing, had only the words 'Authorized Personnel Only' written in red as its decoration. 

Taking the corridor, smooth doors to the left were painted white with the club logo stamped in black, so patrons would know where the doors were. Camy stopped at the sixth room, pulling out what looked like a small metal rod as she turned to face us. 

"This is your room key. Each key is specially encoded to each door, to ensure people can only enter their designated rooms unless invited. We gave the other one to your friends earlier, just in case they needed it before you got here." With that, she turned back to the door. All four of us where braced for practically anything as she slid the key into the whole before the handle popped out from the door. 

I got a decent view of the room when she opened it. Windows looking down to the club spanning the entire back wall, full bar to the left, low booth and tables to the right. My perusing was cut short, however, by six bodies slamming me across the short distance to the wall behind me. I could barely distinguish who was saying what with everyone talking at once.

"Johanna! Oh my god, I can't believe how much I missed you!" Gina shouted.

"You never text me anymore, woman." Milan wined as she strangled my middle.

"Who the hell are you?!" Koltyn questioned.

"Mind yo business asshat, I haven't seen my friend in forever!" Izzy shot back at my brother with all of her usual sass.

"Jojo, how come you never told me they were hot?" Panda mock-reprimanded me as she glanced over her shoulder.

"Amen to that," Brenna commented as her gaze swept over Jack. "I'm hella gay but I'd still tap that."

"Thanks for the compliment," Jack deadpanned, pulling everyone away. "Now back off so she can breathe." 

Summer punched my shoulder, not enough to actually hurt, but still noticeable. "You said you'd come visit almost two months ago, you whore!"

The Doctor immediately pushed her back."Oi, don't call my girlfriend a whore!"

"GIRLFRIEND?!" Everyone except the Doctor, Jack, and I yelled.

"Alright, alright, everybody back up you bunch of wankers." I could barely contain my giggles as I took a moment to straighten my glasses and take in all my unexpected friends. And their surprising attire.

Panda was wearing almost entirely leather, from her pants and heeled pumps to the studded fingerless gloves and matching choker. Even the band holding her long brown hair into a ponytail was leather.The only real color came from her ripped purple tee that showed off the tattoo on her chest. An archaic-style heart with a pulse line going through it, she'd even gotten 'Do Not Resuscitate' printed in a swirly, old-fashioned script underneath it.

Gina had black jeans and matching converse that paired pretty well with a fitted leather jacket similar to my own. A black shirt hugged her frame, proclaiming 'Me? Sarcastic? NEVER'. Her brunette locks barely brushed her shoulders, somehow only using her thick-rimmed glasses and a black bow to keep it in place.

Brenna had on a red, retro looking dress that came about halfway past her knees. Lacy black pumps not only set off the crimson but also helped accent the gold necklace and bangles. Her deep red, almost maroon, dyed hair had been cut short and spiked so it was reminiscent of Abbadon from Supernatural.

Milan wore a long satin dress that was overlaid with black lace. Mostly strapless, the lace come up over one shoulder and down her arm to form a sleeve. Black ankle boots peaked out from below the waves of satin. A small silver heart glittered from a chain at her throat, a gift from her boyfriend for her birthday a few months ago. Even her brunette locks were pulled into a large braid that wound over her shoulder.

Summer and Izzy were the only ones dressed semi-normally. Summer had on a sleeveless red dress, the lace coming to stop just above her knees. Another layer of black lace wrapped around her midsection, sweeping along to look like a corset until it stopped just over her hips, a black satin ribbon cinched at her waist. Split black leggings led to the most gorgeous blood red Mary Janes I'd possibly ever seen. Her blonde hair was loose, letting it roll i waves along her shoulders and back. 

Izzy wore a long, flowing black shirt that had her life motto of 'Stress Is Caused By Giving A Fuck' written across it in bold lettering. Split black and red-checked jeans led the way to her normal black combat boots. The only thing out of place was a black beanie that said 'Resident Badass' pulled over her long black hair.

Milan snorted. "Please, if anybody's a wanker here, it's probably you." I laughed before realizing what she'd said. 

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" 

Gina put a finger to her lips in a thoughtful manner. "Hmm, maybe that you're the only one in our entire group of friends who hasn't done the do yet?" 

"Yeah," Panda piped in,"I mean, even Brenna got some last week and she's not even fucking straight." I sighed, resting my forehead against the heel of my hand. 

"Panda, I really don't wanna know how you know that, do I?" 

She shrugged, simultaneously turning back to the room in the process. "Probably not. Now get your ass over here if you want a drink, woman." I laughed as my friends and I all shuffled together in a massive group back into privacy. The rest of the TARDIS crew, plus my brother, followed in a far more subdued and wary manner. 

I giggled a bit as Izzy pushed an electric blue drink into my hand once we reached the bar. "Alright, as much as I love seeing you guys, how the hell did you know where I'd be? Y'all can barely remember I'm visiting even when I text you like twenty times about it." 

Gina shrugged and stated in a matter of fact manner, "Oh, I hacked your phone so we could listen in on you." 

Her statement and nonchalance over the situation made me choke slightly on the sip I'd been taking. The Doctor immediately rushed over and rubbed my back as I started to cough. 

"Hold on," Koltyn objected from his position in front of the door, now thankfully closed. I didn't want people thinking we were a bunch of psychopaths. "Why the absolute fuck would you need to listen in on my baby sister?" Summer snorted before gesturing to me with her glass. And only she could make it look fucking graceful, that whore. 

"She's the Doctor's companion, bro. We get paid to have as much information on all of them as possible. We just tend to edit out the gross bits 'cause some of her conversations are just wrong. This coming from the person who's had some pretty gross conversations with her." 

The Doctor's head whipped up, suddenly interested in the conversation again. I covertly winced, wanting to give my brother a high-five in the face for bringing it up. Possibly with a chair. "What d'you mean you get paid for it?" He demanded as the six newcomers all looked at me warily. 

*Definitely with a chair.* I just sighed and braced myself for the blowup from both him and Jack once I told them the truth. "They're Torchwood, Doc." 

The man in question looked as if he wanted to say some very choice things, but thankfully Jack jumped in before he could. 

"Wait, you're all Torchwood too?" He asked with excitement clear in his voice. 

"Damn straight." Panda grinned at him over her own drink. She reached into her back pocket and flashed a badge almost identical to Jack and Ianto's own. 

"We're Torchwood Six, Chicago." Brenna spoke up from her seat between Panda and I, glancing around me at the Doctor as she did so. He'd started brooding and kept shooting looks my way that said he'd have a nice long *talk* with me later. "First all-female Torchwood in history, and our base is actually under Navy Pier; almost completely underwater. We cover most of the upper Midwest since there aren't that many big cities out that way. Occasionally we head out to New York or one of the California units if they need the help." 

Jack seemed joyfully dazed, slowly shaking his head. "I never knew we had units outside the British Isles." 

Milan smirked before jerking a thumb at the Doctor. "Blame him. He's had a few American companions and even came here sometime in the '90's. Apparently the higher ups decided to keep an eye on the U.S., too. And with the frequency of aliens popping up around the country, they eventually realized they needed people out here to keep everyone safe. Thus, Chicago was the second unit built on our side of the pond, immediately after New York. Those are the two biggest alien magnets in the country apparently." 

Koltyn shook his head. "Too much information," he muttered as he shouldered his way past me to the bar. "Need alcohol." I snickered. 

"Koltyn simple man, use small words." 

He flipped me off without turning back to face me. "Listen you little shit. I just found out these bozos you call friends get paid a fuck ton of money to watch you. Let your big brother indulge in his sudden urge of alcoholism."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made my friends outfits on ployvore if anyone wants a better picture of what they're wearing.
> 
> http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/collection?id=4235335


	8. Tonight Only! Johanna and the Amazing Adventure Of Abundant Alcohol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alcohol may have been involved... and that children is the start to some of the best stories ever told.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another PG-13 bit. It doesn't really contribute to the story so if you want to skip you can. I wrote this solely for me, obviously, but people said it was good so I'm posting it. Please be gentle, I'm just a sexually frustrated teen with way too many fandoms and too much time to read fanfiction.

Needless to say, it didn't take long before everyone was practically fall-on-your-ass drunk. 

Panda, Milan, Summer, Izzy, and Gina were all crowded around Koltyn on the far end of the booth, hanging on to his every word while he regaled them with stories of our childhood. Brenna had disappeared with Jack a few minutes ago to God knows where. The most surprising, however, was just how plastered we'd gotten the Doctor. Who would've thought he'd have such a strong affinity for Long Island Iced Tea. 

Normally his "superior Time Lord physiology" broke down any alcohol in an instant on his command, but since there was so much fruit juice and other flavors to mask the alcohol he was already tipsy by the time he noticed anything amiss. I really didn't think a drunk Doctor would've been all that bad, until he'd gotten unbelievably clingy. He'd pulled me onto his lap not too long ago and absolutely refused to let me go, tightening his arms around my waist every time I made to get up. A steady thump of bass from the club below added to the atmosphere in the room, giving a heady sense to our inebriated group. The volume was just loud enough for it to be considered background music, but I was able to make out that it was Lucky Strike by Maroon 5. *At least someone down there's got decent taste. Thought I'd be stuck listening to shit I don't even know.* I'd actually managed to get lost in the song, even singing along for a bit before I was yanked out again by Milan's loud laughter. 

I turned as best I could to see what was going on, only to discover a flushed and satisfied Brenna walking out of the bathroom behind a smug Jack. The latter sauntered off to the bar for another drink while Milan started interrogating Brenna. The Doctor snorted to my left, his head nestled in the crook of my neck. 

"Well thank God there's no chance of reproduction there. Last thing the universe needs is a mini Jack running around." I giggled as a thought popped into my head. 

"Or a mini Brenna." My mirth only increase as scenarios of tiny curly haired babies flirting with every other toddler in sight played in my mind. My laughter was abruptly cut short as the Doctor took the opportunity of his position to start kissing my neck. There was no way he could've known the effect that had on me. *So this must be a coincidence.* My neck had always been... sensitive, so I normally hated people touching it. Needless to say, this was way worse than just touching it. 

I tried to hide my body's reaction to him as best I could, especially since I was normally a bit vocal in these kinds of situations, but I couldn't stop my sharp intake of breath as his teeth slightly grazed where my neck and shoulder met. We both froze for a moment before I felt him give a slow smile against my skin. "Doctor, I really don't think this is a good-." My feeble protest was cut off as he set to work with renewed vigor. 

Every inch of skin available to him was touched in some way, wether by soft kisses or nips just hard enough to be enjoyable. My mind was clouded over enough from his attentions, but the best/worse was yet to come. Apparently he took offense to my not letting any of my unconscious noises loose and decided to do something about it. Once he made sure I was good and dazed, he gently slid my jacket back for easier access and bit the spot that'd started this whole mess. My body jolted, mouth opening and letting slip a small moan just load enough for the two of us to hear in the process. He let out a breathy laugh as his left hand came around to lightly cup the opposite side of my jaw. Just as he started to turn my head for a kiss, I started to come to my senses and pulled back. 

He pouted at me, sticking out his lower lip in the process. "Joooo," he drug the nickname out in a whine. Any other time him doing that would've been endearing but in my current, um, *state*, it just served to make him more irresistible. "Why can't I kiss you?" 

I huffed a soft laugh at his antics. "You really are drunk." 

"No'm not," he objected in an unintentional slur. "'M perfectly sober." 

"Right, and I'm Queen Elizabeth the First," I countered back, gently prying his arms away in the process. "I know you wouldn't do this in front of everyone if you were sober." 

I slid off his lap and stood in front of him. The Time Lord had let his arms fall to his sides so his body was completely sprawled across the booth. He gave me a goofy smile when he noticed me staring. 

"I actually met Queen Liz before. And you'd pull off those huge, frilly dresses magnificently. Or I could pull them off you." He finished with an absolutely filthy leer. When my face started to heat up, I made a silent vow. Knowing that this was Jack's influence, I wasn't sure wether I would kill him or send him a gift basket. 

*Depends on how the night goes.* 

I rolled my eyes at the Doctor. "I'm gonna get you some water so you can try and sober up." 

I steeled myself as I made my way to the bar. We'd unintentionally run our bartender, Breeanne, up the walls in the short time we'd been here, managing to drink almost half the liquor in the process. I half expected her to try and exorcise me upon sight. So needless to say I was surprised when she grinned and jumped up onto the bar to greet me. 

"Heya hon! what can I get ya?" She swung her legs around so she could face me while I laughed. 

"Didn't expect you to be so chipper." Her grin only grew. 

"Are you kidding? Not only are you guys hilarious, but you tip like there's no tomorrow. I've already gotten twice a week's pay from this party alone!" 

I snorted. "True enough. But I just need some water, my boyfriend is pretty plastered." She gave a glance back the way I'd come, raising her eyebrow as she did so. 

"The tall one with the Vader tee and the sex-hair?" 

I nodded even though I was confused about why she'd asked. "Yeah, why?" 

She shrugged. "Well he seems to be getting around just fin-" 

"Hello girls." 

I barely had time to register the Doctor's voice behind me before I was pushed to the side. I righted myself almost immediately and turned to confront him about the shove but my retort died in my throat. He'd used my absence to fist his hand in Breanne's shirt , effectively pulling her in for a kiss. It barely lasted any time at all, but I still had enough time to feel shocked and confused and jealous and ang- *wait. Jealous? I never get fucking jealous, even over people getting paid to kiss actors who I'd make out with for free. The fuck is going on here?* 

After a moment he released the poor woman, allowing her to snort out a laugh instead of kicking him into a higher octave. It seemed this woman was full of surprises. 

"Well I can die happy now." She jumped off the counter before throwing me a wink as she sauntered away. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do hon." I could only stare at her as she made a beeline for my brother. Though my distraction was short-lived. 

As the Doctor made a move to leave, I immediately whipped around to face him again. "What the hell was that about?"

I have to say, he had enough sense to look slightly scared at how pissed off I was. 

He raised his hands in the small space between us in a calming manner. "Now Jo, I can-." 

"Oh no you don't," I cut him off. "Don't think calling me that will get you out of trouble this time. You're the one who pulled the relationship card earlier. Now I don't know if it was just the alcohol or if you did it to make me jealous as payback for not kissing you, but you're not even the type for impromptu sober sex, much less drunk sex. So if you want out of trouble, you're gonna have to work long and hard to get me to even consider-." 

Thank God he knows how to effectively shut me up. Just as I was starting to get into emotion-fueled rambling, he grabbed my face and pulled me onto my toes to kiss him. It was just long enough to be heated but he broke it when it started to morph into something else. 

I was left dumbfounded and floundering as he rested his forehead against mine. His eyes sparkled in satisfaction as he gazed at me. 

"You know," he began, a teasing tone in his voice. "There are some distinct...," he paused again as he let one hand wander to my neck, playing with my hair as he did so. "*Advantages* to making your lover jealous." 

I smiled as he ducked his head to kiss my cheek. "Would one of them happen to be jealous sex?" 

He chuckled into my ear. *Jesus Christ he's impossibly sexy.* 

"You took the words right out of my mouth, love." Next thing I know, he's not only kissing me again but also steering me backwards towards the bathroom. I hear Panda let out a wolf-whistle, accompanied by Izzy yelling for me to get some, just before I feel a pair of hands, distinctly not the Doctor's, push us away from each other not two feet from the door. 

"Woah there, friend." Brenna could barely hold back her laughter. "Before you get too carried away I need to ask you something." She glanced at the Doctor before whirling around and clasping my face in her hands, effectively squishing my face. She stood on her toes to stare into my eyes, her bluish-green meeting my melted chocolate brown. I tensed slightly thinking she was going to start yelling at me. 

"Johanna," she began solemnly. "Do you want to have the sex?" 

I sighed as best I could from my squished mouth. "Yesh Brenna. I would love to have the sex right now. But I can't if you keep grabbing me." 

The Doctor ducked around her and pulled me away. "Before you ask, yes, I really want to 'have the sex' with her. Now beat it, otherwise I'm gonna do it right here and now and scar you all for life." I laughed at him before grabbing his jacket lapels, fully intending to continue our previous path, but before I could start moving back again Brenna stuck a small foil square in the collar of my shirt. 

I rolled my eyes at her as I reached behind me and opened the door. Yet my luck ran out almost immediately after I did so. Her parting comment of "goddamn straight people, always needing fucking condoms, this right here is why I'm lesbian" was lost to Jack's loud cry. 

"Oh Jesus Christ! Can't a guy get off around here?!" I whirled around so I could see just what we'd interrupted. 

It appeared as though Summer was perched on the sink basin, only the bottom halves of her arms and legs visible as they wrapped around Jack. Thankfully Summer still had on her dress at least, but Jack was a different story. Said specimen also appeared to be buck ass nude, giving me the glorious sight of not only his ass, but also the back that was sculpted by angels. What can I say, I'm a sucker for back muscles. 

The Doctor put his face in his hands and sighed. "Jack, why am I always the one to find you naked." 

Jack chuckled as Summer readjusted her dress from her position still on the sink. "Maybe you're just that attracted to me," he said with an absolutely ridiculous eyebrow waggle at the two of us. I started laughing hysterically at the entire fucked up situation, my breath leaving me in either snorts or laughs that sounded like an orgasming seal. 

Summer huffed out a sigh at my reaction. "Jo, you know I love you, and as happy as I am that you were finally gonna get laid, would you kindly get the fuck out and give me my turn first?" 

And in that moment, I swear I was going to pass out.


	9. 007? Bitch please, Kingsman.

*Thank god I watch as many spy movies as I do,* I thought as I slipped out of the room unnoticed. *This is some James Bond shit right here.* I paused as a new thought came to me. *Or Kingsman. Not only could I rock the suit, but practically the entire cast was hot, so I could rock them too.* Smirking to myself and making a mental note to tell everyone that line later, I cast one last glance at them over my shoulder before the door closed noiselessly behind me.

Everyone else in our group seemed entirely wasted. All my friends where piled together on the booth and in various states of consciousness, bodies and limbs strewn around in a very haphazard manner. I knew that we'd planned to do this as a team, but I didn't want anybody to get hurt. 

So I’d made the decision to go it alone. 

The hall outside our room was empty as I made my way back to the stairs. With any luck that personnel door would lead me to Brooke’s office so we could find what we needed and get out of here. I cast a quick glance down the stairs as I slipped my hand in my pocket, but before I could do anything else I felt a hand clamp over my mouth. I felt the briefest glimmer of panic before a familiar voice hissed in my ear, “You’re really going to try picking the lock on the door?”

I tugged the hand away as I huffed. “Milan, what are you doing out here? I thought you were plastered like everyone else!” 

I heard her sigh as she stepped back, allowing me to face her. “I took acting, remember? And I’m always the one to get info from people ‘cause no matter what anyone else says they can’t flirt for shit.”

I stared at her for a moment, still trying to figure out why she was here. 

“You- what?!”

“Oh for the love of Jesus,” she muttered, tossing her head so her braid swept back over her shoulder, cocking her hip at the same time. “I knew you were still going to try and stop Brooke whether you had backup or not. I made sure I didn’t actually drink any alcohol when I saw the Doctor getting wasted on the Long Islands so I could help when you went running off. Whether you’ll actually need me or not is up to you, but I’m coming with you so you don’t get yourself killed by running into a wall or something.”

I stared at her, almost not believing what she’d said. It wasn’t until I noticed something silver dangling from the hand on her hip that I knew just how serious she was.

“You *stole* his fucking *sonic*?” 

She smirked, obviously proud of herself while as twirled the screwdriver in her hand. “Well yeah. I mean, it’s not like he was gonna be using it and I figured it’d be handy to have to disable any security systems we might come across.”

I smiled, grasping her shoulders as I did so. “Milan, you’re a freaking genius and I love you.” Just as my hand started reaching for the sonic though, something caught my attention.

“Uh, Moo?”

“Yeah?”

“Isn’t it gonna be a little hard to sneak around when your dress looks like a dementor or something?”

At my observation she glanced down at her dress, seeming surprised by her wardrobe. Milan then studied her lace-covered shoulder for a moment before pressing on a seemingly random pattern. Just as she did so her dress started to shrink. It twisted and conformed to her body so within seconds she was now clothed in a skintight body suit. 

I gaped at her as she spread her arms. “How do I look?”

Not one to pass up a golden opportunity, I smirked. “You still look like an ass to me.”

She whacked my arm with the sonic before relinquishing it to me. 

It was relatively easy to find the setting for locks the Doctor had installed and we were through the door in less than a minute. We found ourselves on a stair landing, one flight leading to what was presumably the roof and the rest leading down and underneath the building. 

Milan and I, after a quick affirming glance at each other, started descending the stairs, the only sounds the echoes of our footsteps against metal grating. The bottom landing had three hallways branching from it and I immediately turned down the left one. 

We started pulling on the doors along either side of the hallway, trying to find one that would lead to a security center or something.

After a few minutes I heard Milan whistle softly from the end of the hall. After a quick check that no one was around, we ducked into the room. It seemed luck was on our side tonight. We’d found Brooke’s office.

“Holy shit,” I muttered incredulously. An enormous wood desk, completely covered in various and a state-of-the-art computer, faced the door and the walls had typical big business photos. Newspaper articles, blog posts, online reviews all proclaiming the club’s success were framed as practically the only decoration. What was most unbelievable though was the back wall. 

The space consisted entirely of what looked like large television screens. I assumed they were normally to monitor several parts of the club at once, but all of them currently made up a wall-sized view of our ‘private’ room upstairs. It was eerie watching our normally rambunctious friends in complete silence. Normally I would’ve sold my soul for them to shut up, especially when they were drunk, but just hearing my and Milan’s breathing with the scene set me on edge. 

The Doctor had migrated over to the bar while we were gone, head resting on his crossed arms and presumably fighting a horrendous hangover. He seemed to be the only one not functioning again as everyone else was crowded together, having a heated discussion. I just hoped it wasn’t about where Milan and I had gone and about how they’d somehow gone from plastered to sober within minutes. 

I turned to Milan, still keeping an eye on everyone in case something went wrong. “You try hacking their system and see what you can get on Brooke. I’ll see if I can get some audio on this.” She kept staring at the screen, rooted to the spot, almost as if she couldn’t believe what she was seeing either. After a few long moments she finally nodded. 

I searched along the wall for a panel or something else to indicate where maintenance for the screens would be conducted. The only sounds in the room now were the tapping of the keyboard and Milan muttering how the firewalls in place almost insulted her intelligence. I finally found a hidden panel, only about four inches on either side, set into the wall so you had to push on it to make it open. I flicked as many switches as I could before I heard the sound of my friends arguing crackle to life.

Relief flooded through me as my hopes were confirmed and I heard them questioning what happened to them being drunk. So relieved, in fact, that I didn’t notice the new arrival until he approached the Doctor. The bouncer from downstairs that’d hit on me. Kyle swaggered over to the bar with his hands shoved in his pockets, my friends completely oblivious to him. “So, she finally realise she could do better?” he asked the hungover man. 

The Doctor’s only response was a muttered “fuck off”. 

Kyle sniggered at his response. “Must have. Explains why you’re so fucked up.” 

The brunet lifted his head and scrubbed at his face in a vain attempt to clear the remaining fog. “What the bloody hell are you talking about?”

“The smokin’ hot red-head. She’s not in here so I figured she ditched you.”

And it was with that statement that the room fell silent as the Doctor froze. I could practically feel the tension in the room as I saw his shoulders and back tense up. A wise man would have backed away from him right then and there without a backward glance. Kyle was not a wise man.

“Look, there’s no reason to be this upset over a chick skipping out on you. I bet she was a bi-”

He wasn’t even able to finish the sentence before the Doctor abruptly stood, making the shorter man immediately back into the bar top, and I understood why. The alien was obviously pissed and the look in his eyes reminded me *exactly* why he was called The Oncoming Storm. Kyle looked ready to crap himself, but it was nothing compared to when Jack and Koltyn wordlessly flanked our friend.

And what a trio they made.

The Immortal, one hand resting none-so-subtly on the grip off his holstered gun; the over-protective big brother with both hands clenched into fists; and the Last of the Time Lords, the fire in his eyes only hinting at all the rage and suffering he’d experienced in his 900 years of life. I’m pretty sure Kyle would have told them state secrets if it meant he could save his ass.

“D’you want to rephrase that?” The Doctor’s voice was deathly quiet. The bouncer shrunk back even farther.

“I -I just assumed,” Kyle stammered. “She wasn’t here when I came up. I have no idea where-”  
With no warning, the audio suddenly cut out. The now-silent screens still showed him spilling his life story to my friends, the girls now surrounding the guys at the bar. I huffed at the screens.

“Well, that was very informative,” I snarked, addressing Milan. Normally she’d laugh or give a reply of her own but I was met with silence. Not even the keyboard clacking penetrated it. I turned, expecting her to be staring at the screen or something of that nature, only to find her unconscious on the floor.

“Milan!” I didn’t even think before I ran over to her. After moving her onto her back, I quickly pressed my fingers to her neck. *Heartbeat.* I sighed in relief once I found her to simply be unconscious, not dead. I shrugged out of my jacket with the intention of balling it under her head as a pillow but I was stopped by a male voice behind me. 

“This is what I love about humans,” he chuckled. “They’re always so willing to *help*.”

I whipped around, still half-crouching over Milan as I face him. “Alright Brooke, what did you do to her?”

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and gave a little shrug. “Just put her to sleep; nothing that’ll cause permanent damage. That would just complicate things.”

“Don’t play with me, asshat. I had to spend my visit to my brother coming after you instead of driving him crazy. You obviously want something,” I gestured to the screens on the wall. “So why don’t you do just take it and then get the hell off my planet.”

Brooke smiled, eyes wandering my body while he wandered over to the screen’s control panel. Under normal circumstances that look would have been considered flirty, but in my current situation it just set me on edge.

“Oh, Johanna,” he practically purred as he started flipping switches. “I can’t ‘just take’ what I want. See, there’s really *two* things that made me come to this miserable floating rock of yours.” The audio suddenly crackled to life. I couldn’t make anything out, everything jumbled together as my friends were yelling over each other. A quick glance at the scene showed the Doctor’s hands fisted in Kyle’s shirt so he had to endure the verbal abuse being hurled at him. “Both are extremely hard to come by under normal circumstances but now I have the perfect way to get them at the same time. Two birds and all that.”

“Oh yeah, and what’s that?” I shot off without a thought. Curse my sarcastic nature. 

*Great work, Jo. That’s almost as bad as staring down the barrel of a gun and saying ‘what are you gonna do, shoot me?’ Good job fuckwit.*

My mental tirade was cut short by the utterance of a single word that chilled me to the bone. 

“You.”

I floundered for a moment as I processed what he’d said. “But- but why the hell would you want me? I don’t have anything special, I’m just a regular eighteen-year-old girl.”

Brooke faced me fully again, his face hardening as his patience slowly evaporated. “You don’t get it do you? It’s not *you* that I want, and why would I anyway? You’re only here to be the bait for your TIme Lord.”

Before I could react I was against the wall behind me, Brooke holding me above the floor with one hand around my throat. I gasped for breath as my hands pried uselessly at his own. My vision darkened quickly, and the last thing I heard before unconsciousness took me was the Doctor.

I knew it would haunt me for the rest of my life. His voice was frantic, angry, and above all, broken. 

“Where is she?!”


	10. Help I'm Steppin' Into the Twilight Zone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is solely a hallucination, I'm in no way saying this has/can/will ever happen. I was interested in writing a dark!Doctor and someone suggested putting in this chapter. There is some violence at the very end, I tried to write nothing too graphic but there is a character "death" and I only mention seeing a trigger pulled, a thud, and red. Be forwarned, but I wanted everyone to know before you delved too deep.

*Gotta find the Doctor. Have to find him, tell him about Brooke…*

I shot up as the dream left me. I’d been running, trying to find the Time Lord, trying to tell him something about Brooke. *Something about the Doctor.*

I tried remembering what had happened. The bouncer at the club, finding my friends, everyone getting drunk, all of that I remembered. Yet my memories started to get blurry and dark the farther into the night I tried to go. The last thing I could recall was Milan and I descending a flight of stairs.

I sighed in frustration as I pulled back the covers of my bed, but I froze when I realized where I was. 

*In my bed. In my bed in my room on the TARDIS.*

I stamped down the slow panic that tried overtaking me as I surveyed my room. Everything was in order, exactly the way I’d left it when we’d left to go see Koltyn this morning. Books everywhere, Sharpies and paints scattered around with the sketchbooks in the corner, even the pile of clothes that I’d decided against wearing on the trip. I was home, I was safe. Despite this, I felt uneasy. Something was wrong about this, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

Taking one step at a time I glanced down at my body. I was only mildly surprised to see I was in the same outfit as from the club, sans my leather jacket.*That’s right. I took it off so I could put it under Milan’s head. Milan. She was on the floor unconscious- Brooke-* 

My thoughts were cut off as a piercing pain shot through my head. I pressed my hand to my forehead on instinct, squinting my eyes against the pain. “What the hell?” I wondered aloud. I swung my legs off the bed and took my head in my hands, elbows resting my my thighs. “God, I haven’t had this happen in forever. The TARDIS normally takes care of-” I cut myself off as I realised what bothered me so much.

I didn’t feel the TARDIS.

The ship was always a constant presence in the back of my mind, a comforting hum that was strongest while I was inside her. Even when she’d gotten badly damaged a few weeks ago, she spent the whole time during her repairs reassuring me that I had nothing to worry about. Not being able to feel her at all was worrying to say the least.

Swallowing down my nerves, I slowly crept out of my room, every sense on high alert for anything out of the ordinary. Since I didn’t have the TARDIS to direct me where to go, I found myself going in the direction of the console room, the kitchen being the only other place I could find on my own. As the flooring changed from plush carpet to metal grating, I slowed down, taking every step with care so I didn’t make any noise. 

Once I was within earshot of the room I heard a vaguely familiar clicking noise. It raised faint memories of movies with my family and of Jack, but the it was too quiet to really place what it was. Just as I paused outside the door to try distinguishing the noise I was startled by the Doctor’s voice cutting through the near-silence.

“I know you’re there. There’s nothing to be afraid of, you know.”

What scared me most though was that he sounded...distracted. “Distraction leads to capture which leads to death” was a favorite phrase of his in reaction to me seeing something shiny and running off. You’d think I’d learn after all this time, but I have the mind of a five-year-old when I get excited.

I braced myself for the worst before I rounded the corner, expecting anything from him in danger to possibly an intruder in the TARDIS. Yet he was perfectly fine. I could only see the back of him, but he was in the familiar position of standing at the controls, fiddling with something on the console. I edged slowly along the walkway, working my way towards him with growing apprehension. I was only a few feet behind him when I finally heard another noise come from the sub-level below us.

I went rigid at the sight of Koltyn, Jack, and my friends all gagged and tied in row, their wrists and ankles bound together. I didn’t even think before I jumped over the railing to help them. I landed in front of Panda, my hands shaking as they tried to decide where to go first. 

“What’s wrong with him?” I whispered to her, my voice failing all other volumes in my disbelief. I finally decided to get her mouth free first, reaching toward the fabric forcing her jaw open. “Why hasn’t he tried helping any of you?”

“I wouldn’t do that, Johanna.”

Hand still outstretched, I paused just long enough to snap at him over my shoulder. “I *would* do it, Doc. They’re my friends and I’m going to get them out of whatever ridiculous stunt this is!” I’d barely finished speaking when the unmistakable sound of a gunshot rang out around us.

Trying not to panic further, I cautiously turned to face him, standing protectively in front of the group as I did. The Doctor hadn’t moved from next to the console but now he faced me full on, a still-smoking gun pointed just above my head. Every inch of him was the Oncoming Storm, the very skurge of the Dalek race, but that alone wasn’t enough to send me running. What scared me was that the Doctor, *my* Doctor, had used a gun, the one thing he swore to never do.

He jerked his head, indicating for me to move towards him. “Get away from them, Jo.”

I swallowed hard, my mouth suddenly dry where it hadn’t been a minute ago. “Why should I? They’re not threats; the most dangerous thing they’ve done tonight is have sex-”

With no warning at all he jumped over the rail, landing directly in front of me. He reached out before I could react, quickly grabbing my wrist and tugging hard enough to knock me off balance.

“I *said*,” he growled as I toppled over at his feet, “to get away from them.”

As scared as I’d been, it was actually a surprise when I felt more pissed off than afraid. I whipped my hair out of my face as I got to my knees, defiantly throwing my head back to face him.

“And *I* said, why the hell should I?”

Without a word he crouched down so he could look me in the eye. But what I saw wasn’t the Doctor I knew. All the pain and heartbreak he’d felt in his life had finally made him snap, driving to the absolute brink of sanity. His unoccupied hand suddenly reached out to cup my cheek. I was surprised at how gentle he was considering the situation.

“Don’t you *see*?” He questioned breathlessly, his eyes flicking between my own. A manic spark had formed there and it was making him more forceful by the second. “Don’t you see why I have to do this?”

I slowly shook my head so I didn’t take my eyes off of him. I wanted to be able to stop him should he do something drastic. 

He stared at me incredulously. “You- you honestly don’t see what they’re doing? They’re Torchwood, Johanna! They hate anything alien; they don’t see them like you and I do. All they see is something stupid and dangerous that needs to be gotten rid of, and I’m always number one on their priorities list. They were founded because of me!” Every word got more and more frantic and I felt his hand starting to shake next to my cheek.

“I saved Queen Victoria from a werewolf and she repaid the favor by putting a bounty on my head and founding a society to continue the tradition. When they finally figured out that it’s only my body that dies, they went after the things and people I love most. They thrive on ruining my life, that’s what they were doing at the club tonight. They don’t want to kill me anymore, they’ve decided on trying to convince you to leave me! But I’m not gonna let that happen, not anymore, not after Rose.”

My body went cold as he stood again. He rarely mentioned Rose, and when he did it was only during the times he was losing his grip on his emotions. There were a handful of times that he actually talked about her, and they were normally after I’d nearly gotten killed. 

Just as quick as before, he grabbed my arm in an almost painfully tight grip, jerking me to my feet so he could drag me with him back to the console. A forceful shove sends me careening backwards into the captain’s chair, my legs nearly kicking the controls in front of me as he enters coordinates into the navigation system, the gun resting just off to the side as he does so. His ever-faithful ship takes off a moment later while I’m still trying to get my bearings.

Before I can he’s behind me, pulling my arms back so he can keep me in place with a pair of handcuffs around my wrists. At the moment I’m too terrified to even make a dirty joke about taking me to dinner first. As I see him stroll back to the controls and pick up the gun again, I know I have to stall for time. Have to think of a way out of this. 

*Ask where we’re going, he can ramble for hours when he gets going.*

“Where we headin’?” I tried to keep my voice from revealing my true emotions, counting on his adventurer’s nature to buy me and my friends a little more time.

The Doctor gave me an exasperated look, one that looked so normal on his face that for a second I thought this whole ordeal had been some elaborate prank to convince me to leave the hero work to him. 

“Oh, Johanna,” he gave a long, suffering sigh. Like when I made an absolutely ridiculous statement or missed something obvious. “You should have a guess by now at what I’m doing.”

He leveled the gun at the huddled group below, the small red laser pointed straight at Panda’s heart.

“What better place to hide bodies than the endless void of space itself?”

I focused solely on his hand, watched his finger pull the trigger, hearing a thud a moment later as tears streamed down my face.

*Panda, oh God this can’t be happening, dear God let her be alright, please, please not her...*

I lifted my head to see if she had survived, and my heart turned cold at the large splash of red on the wall.

“ASHLEY!”

And everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friend Panda's real name is Ashley, and the nickname came about because I went to school with 3 different Ashleys and invited them all to a party once. She was wearing a panda bear costume and the rest is history. I might add that into a later chapter and delete this later, but for clarities sake at the moment... Also, we always use the 'real names rule'- nicknames and pet names until shit goes down.


End file.
